Posts tagged: relationships
I hope you find the man that you can be completely feminine around…and doesn’t take advantage of you for it
Let them think it is their idea…and you both win
Despite what you might think, cheating (for guys) has less to do with opportunity or the relative “hotness” of the female they are cheating with and more to do with their woeful lack of communication skills and utter lack of respect for you.
The truth is, many guys lack the intestinal fortitude to go toe to toe with the average female, especially those females with male energy.
Interestingly, this has little to do with the amount of testosterone in their bloodstream, because if challenged by another male, those same guys would probably defend themselves quite well, physically speaking, but in a verbal fight, they simply lack the Emotional IQ of many women.
The second part of the equation is respect, and face it, most people either have it for you or they don’t. Men are born with a certain tolerance for arguing/emotionally charged discussions, and when it is reached, many shut down and withdraw…but I don’t want you to think because most men have low Emotional IQ’s, they are prone to cheating. The main culprit is respect. When a person cheats, they are basically saying, “I don’t respect you” (and probably haven’t for some time). Again, you either have it or you don’t.
The toughest thing for many females to understand is, “why they don’t just break-up if they are unhappy? Why do they have to do this while I am in a relationship with them”?
Answer: They don’t have the guts to break-up in a civilized fashion, and in some sick, and ultimately self-serving fashion, they say to themselves, “if I break-up she’ll explode. I can’t deal with that. She’ll beg me to stay. She’ll cry. She’ll physically hurt me. She’ll destroy my ________________. She told me if we ever broke up she would _________________, etc.” So what they decide to do instead, is do the one thing they know will make you so mad and hurt you so badly that you’ll never want to have anything to do with them again…and that is to cheat.
Never mind the fact that you have (probably) been feeling the relationship is on the rocks and (probably) have confronted them on it. Never mind that you have given them ample opportunity to end the relationship in a peaceful manner and they chosen instead to gloss things over.
People that cheat are cowards.
They aren’t the “perfect one” because they have a key ring with sixty keys and on the first or second try, find the right one for the door. In relationships, that might be called “a natural fit”, but if I had my choice, I might rather choose the person who would stand patiently in the dark trying every key on the ring because the truth is, that is the one. That is who truly loves you. That is the one that will fight for you. That is the one that when the chips are down, will stay in the game
When you know they love you and begin to pull away, it’s not because they don’t love you any more. It is because they (finally) feel vulnerable enough to let someone see their frailities
It’s not time that I wish for you following a big hurt, it’s peace. Peace doesn’t always mean you see the bright side either, it just means you have accepted the situation for what it is and can move on without regret
Not forgiving another person is like avoiding the shower, only you’ll stink on the inside
We all fall. We all fail. The question you have to ask yourself is…how long are you going to let _______________ keep you down?
When you speak in anger, the only thing they hear is your decibel level…and rarely the message
When it is easy and not special…it is only because it has been done many times before
They either are or are not. In two or five years, they still will be. Quit trying to change them. They are what they are. They either fit the picture you want or they don’t. I’m not saying they can’t improve in area’s but you can’t make a sports car a mini-van or vice-versa. You have to accept that sometimes, people are the way they are and no matter what you want them to be or how well you explain it to them, they will still remain the way they are or the way that makes them most comfortable.
The reason people have such a hard time finding “the one” is because of this very thing.
Have you ever visited a place for the first time and instantly fell in love with it? Did it take effort to love it or did it just happen almost as if it was just sitting there waiting to be discovered by you?
Relationships work much the same way…on the front end. I am not saying that work isn’t in store for you down the road because there will be lots of it. The thing you have to ask yourself is, will you be going to “work” begrudgingly, or is it something you look forward to doing every day, even though you know it may be tough at times?
That is the difference. That is the choice you have to make. That is the essential ingredient you have to have to make it work years from now.
Great relationships…they all have this
