Deciding who you will marry is probably the single biggest decision you will ever make in your life and will either be your greatest source of happiness or your greatest source of frustration (depending on how you choose).  Don’t take it lightly.

Great marriage partners share many of the same beliefs about life, so much so that on the outside it may appear that those marriages are boring.  

Believe me, in marriage, “boring” is good.

“But don’t opposites attract Dad”?  

They do (initially), but in my experience they don’t last like marriages that share many of the same beliefs and views on life.  

What can look like an “opportunity to learn more and expand the way you think” in the first six months, because your potential mate thinks differently then you, will later turn into a major source of friction.  Don’t get me wrong, discussing faith, politics, issues about raising children, and life in general…and differing can seem genuinely interesting for a while.  In two years though, “interesting” will become what you fight about and suddenly your marriage will become a compromise.  

“But Dad, I thought marriage was all about compromise”?

Yes, you should compromise on issues like what color you want the paint in your bedroom to be or whether or not to buy a leather couch for the living room, but comprising on major and medium issues because you married the wrong person  your opposite isn’t happiness, its settling…or wait…comprising.  Does that sounds better?  It may sound better, but it will taste the same as putting melted chocolate on a hotdog with chili and mustard.

Make no mistake, people that proclaim how great their marriage is because they “passionately discuss” their differences with their spouse are frustrated, not fulfilled.  

I don’t know anyone that fights with their boss or co-workers on a semi-regular basis that is (truly) happy in their job.  The same thing applies in marriage multiplied by a factor of three.

Am I saying that you need to find a carbon copy of yourself?  

No, not at all.  I’m saying be choosy.  Pick the person who will (potentially) fight the least with you and at the same time enjoy spending the most time breathing the same air