The frustrating thing is, most everyone says they want a great relationship and a great marriage but something, somewhere, or someone has told them that the great ones take little to no work.

The truth is, many people come in with a great resume.  They say they want to work hard and be rewarded.  They say they want to do something that matters, but when they get the job, it all goes down hill.  Why?  Because they don’t like the part called work.  They have been told to, “just show up every day and you’ll move up the ladder”.  

Clock in, clock out.

Stay late?  No way.  Come in early a few days per week?  Am I getting paid for that…then no.

They don’t want a relationship, they want easy.  No expectations.  No performance reviews.  No feedback.  

Showing up should be enough, and if it’s not, then maybe we aren’t right for one another.

How can you figure out (early) if you are with a slug?

Ask.  Lots.  Of (uncomfortable) questions.

• Do you think great marriages take work or is it all about great chemistry where people just click…forever?
• What do you think of marriage/relationship books:  useful tool or useless garbage?
• If I told you specifically what makes me happy, would you be willing to do those things even if they didn’t come naturally, simply because you love me?
• Do you think people that stay married forever don’t fall out of love?

Chemistry is great (and necessary), but the truest indicator of lasting relationships is consistent and self-less effort.